Innocent jokes by Kids

This happened to my brother's neighbour. Neighbour a lady was trying to feed her 4 yr old kid some rice dish. Kid was refusing to have it.
Neighbour wanted to coerce her Kid and mentioned, "Dont you remember what the Doctor had asked you, 'Didnt he ask you to eat well?' ".
Kid had an innocent question, "Did the doc ask me to have the food even when it doesn't taste good?"


Buy an ATM...
My cousin's kid had accompanied him to ATMs quite often.
When the kid had asked for a ship toy, cousin had replied
"Dad does not have enough money this month, lets buy it after next
month's salary."
Kid had immediately replied, "Why dont you buy an ATM machine dad,
we can take money whenever we need it..."

It will go for a toss...

There was a technical discussion when AM mentioned that making these changes to the framework will cause the system unstable and it will go for a toss.
My question was "Should we expect a head or tail...kind of result"

Small entry

GN was mentioning about configuration changes to get validation framework to work. He said " 'small' entries have to be made to this config file".
I had a genuine doubt "Should we have to reduce the font size and make these entries?"

Heights of sleeping...

Last saturday morning around 9 AM my roommates came after a game of Tennis and found me sleeping on my bed still...

My roommate said "Heights of sleeping!!!"

'Sleep'ishly I replied "2 & 1/2 feet."

Horoscope has become 'horror'scope

As we are doing bridegroom search for my sister, am having a tough time with horoscope matching experience. In a fit of frustration mentioned to my cousin that horoscope is like 'horror'scope with even the nicest prospects.

She replied,
"I used to believe in future forecast but now I don’t even believe in weather forecast!"

How much I Wish, I could just change my Dad's perception on horoscope matching.

Throw your views...

Pk: r u free...I want to talk with u 4 sometime. [At present I have no knowledge of Actuate Report Server, which this Guy Manohar knows]

Manohar: We are discussing abt an Actuate's problem. Why don't u throw ur Views?

Pk: What abt Tables, Procedures and Functions?

Just copied my old jokes here and here's todays

After having palak chicken(chicken delicacy with spinach) my friend was not happy with the taste. He mentioned "The Chicken was missing something..."


Pk: The Chicken did not have life.

We love vegetarians...

A hotel chain in London is famous for its Chickens...and to satisfy vegetarians they had a small section of burgers in their menu above which was written.

We love vegetarians...all our chickens are vegetarians.

How mobiles let everyone be fooled about location

During a chat my friend was saying how a fellow passenger in his train was ballantly bluffing that he had reached Faridabad/Gaziabad when they were still some 10-15 minutes away from that place.

Surprisingly we were discussing the same topic(how mobiles let everyone be fooled about location) when I was returning back to Delhi in train. In one incident, the other person had bluffed that he was coming to a planned destination and he is already in his car. The person who was chatting immediately had asked him to "Blow horn and show!". Obviously couldn't escape this simple test.

So next time your friend is informing you that he is well on the way as planned try to get some simple proof like this.

Thank God! Breathing is involuntary

My friend was frustrated by a young dumb co-worker
who messed up some setup and that led to many problems.
Totally pissed off, my friend commented,

"That fellow has to constantly 'Thank God for Breathing is automatic'(involuntary),
else he wouldn't have managed to live so long"

PJs corner (believe me all were cracked in my eX-office - so Copyrighted)

Cricket Service -- Swami had once agreed to Ananth's offer of being one of the 11 players for the weekend cricket match against some team(but rather reluctantly). Then after sometime Ananth and Swami had a dispute over some functional specification discussion.
Swami[in a threatening tone]: Ananth, if u keep on disputing like this, then u r not likely 2 get my service for weekend cricket match.
[I interrupted]
Pk: Swami, In cricket there is no service and only bowling.

Tedulkar and Calibure--
Discussion was between Sound and Kaushik abt Tendulkars poor performance in one of the Cricket World Cup matches
Sound: Tendulkar, with his Calibure should not have done this.
Pk: Sound, Tendulkar comes for Victor and not Calibure.

Gatt was talking with me and SriniV abt something when,
Gatt: I cannot find even one yaaaa!!!
Pk: yes, u cannot find even one becoz One is ODD.

VB Mistake... Jaspal this time was getting over Saurabha abt some functional issue in SSS of Matrix...
Jaspal: This is a basic mistake, this must not happen...
Pk: Jaspal! this is not Basic mistake this is Visual Basic mistake.

Hardly...
Gatt at the Peak of Mullyangiri was very worried abt ppl calling her Gatt and not Gayathri.
Gatt: Nowadays, Hardly anybody calls me Gayathri, everyone calls me 'Gatt'
[inquisitive]Pk: 'Softly', how many ppl call u Gayathri?

Community...
Vinod with all his Josh and Enthu was explaining Vish about how one becomes
a Community Star
Vinod: Should be able to provide many solutions of MS technolgy....and...U
should be able to drive the community.
Pk[had a genuine doubt]: Should we bring a Lorry/Bus?


Sanyasi
Binoy: How does one become become Sanyasi?[wil hold its humor if u prounce
it SanyaC]
???perplexed???
Binoy's Answer: 1st bcome SanyaA, then SanyaB, then SanyaC...Simple.


Father of Nation.
Ananth at our bay was Counting some Rupee Notes and Srini asked few notes be givn to him
Ananth: I am father of two...I have to be very careful abt money...
Pk: I now understand y Gandhi had to be so Simple...
Ananth: y?
Pk: bcoz, Gandhi is Father of Nation.


Independent
Christabell was chatting with our model Sajjid, ashak and myself in Cafe
Bell: ...at some point in my life I want to be Independent...
Pk: wait till August 15th


With Udhay,
Some Highclass pj i cracked and...
Udh:Plzz Bear with him 4 some more days, as anyway he is leaving this
place...
[curious]Pk[got a doubt]: y Bear has the previlege, Y ppl do not say
"lion with", "tiger with", or "cow with"