Do u smell smoke ???

My colleague sitting next to me said "Do you also smell smoke?"

Me: "yes"

Colleague: Where is it possibly coming from?

Me: May be its the 'Fire in the belly' here", pointing at my stomach.

When he started lifting his finger to cover his nose, did I realize what I had just blurted out.
I had to then clarify that it was another PJ, and no problem with my stomach.

I am ...

My colleague SK mentioned after a days work, "I am 'tired'."


My another colleague VJ immediately replied, "I am 'Vimal'."

What do you call a person...???

My neighbour cubicle'r was writing an essay for his MBA application to an university abroad.

He very seriously asked me "PK, what do u call a person who is thinking ahead of his time and identifying problems and escalating it? Actually, I have to describe myself here from my managers viewpoint"

PK: "Whistle-blower!!!"

Demos are always bewitched

This happened to my cousin who works for a finance company with a large customer base in rural India. He works in marketing department. One of the Directors had come down to his office. After some usual office meetings had asked for a demo of how they market the products on the field.

He had taken the director to a nearby village and having him aside he approached the nearby elderly man in his sixties. He introduced himself as a person working for this company and had started marketing the companies product. All the while, the elderly man had kept nodding his head.

After some 5-6 minutes of this campaign, the elderly man has said, "My child, I see that you want to tell something to me, but my left ear does not hear properly, can you come over to my right and explain it."

My cousin still gets a good laugh from everyone over this demo embarrassment before his marketing director.

There is a problem facing me here!!!

My friend was looking at the desktop and was deeply engrossed in debugging his code. He called my name and said "I have a problem facing me here..."

He lightened up on hearing my reply, "Why dont you turn around?"

Explaining 'Sardar'ji jokes ...

This happened to my ex-colleague. He during a team luncheon had told a sardarji joke. Manager was an expatriate(a blonde in that) and so she had difficulty understanding sardarji genre jokes.
Now he wanted to explain her about this category of sardarji jokes and in a hurry uttered,
"Sardarji jokes are like 'blonde' jokes of the west."

Thankfully she had not got offended by mention of blondes in this context it seems(as he had survived to work an year under her after this).

Short of Vision as ...

RS, had earlier described to me a business opportunity which IMHO did not exists.
PK: Business plan that u r suggesting, at any day is not implementable by a third party.
RS: You need to have vision to implement this.
PK: Yes, as I am short on vision, I am indeed short-sighted.
(Just FYI, I wear specs for short sight.)

Be careful abt spell check correction in outlook

My colleague in UK had accepted all corrections suggested by Outlook mail and sent the mail to his manager(Anil).

Later did he realise the mistake of accepting all when he read the 1st line of the mail as
"Hi Anal, "

Tamil PJ (to be enjoyed by S/w Enggrs)

Me: Hi, Yeppadi irukka?

Friend: Nulla kiraenn.

Me: NULLa kiraenna???, Why dont u declare a variable and set the value?

It will go for a toss...

There was a technical discussion when AM mentioned that making these changes to the framework will cause the system unstable and it will go for a toss.
My question was "Should we expect a head or tail...kind of result"

Small entry

GN was mentioning about configuration changes to get validation framework to work. He said " 'small' entries have to be made to this config file".
I had a genuine doubt "Should we have to reduce the font size and make these entries?"

Throw your views...

Pk: r u free...I want to talk with u 4 sometime. [At present I have no knowledge of Actuate Report Server, which this Guy Manohar knows]

Manohar: We are discussing abt an Actuate's problem. Why don't u throw ur Views?

Pk: What abt Tables, Procedures and Functions?

Just copied my old jokes here and here's todays

After having palak chicken(chicken delicacy with spinach) my friend was not happy with the taste. He mentioned "The Chicken was missing something..."


Pk: The Chicken did not have life.

Thank God! Breathing is involuntary

My friend was frustrated by a young dumb co-worker
who messed up some setup and that led to many problems.
Totally pissed off, my friend commented,

"That fellow has to constantly 'Thank God for Breathing is automatic'(involuntary),
else he wouldn't have managed to live so long"

PJs corner (believe me all were cracked in my eX-office - so Copyrighted)

Cricket Service -- Swami had once agreed to Ananth's offer of being one of the 11 players for the weekend cricket match against some team(but rather reluctantly). Then after sometime Ananth and Swami had a dispute over some functional specification discussion.
Swami[in a threatening tone]: Ananth, if u keep on disputing like this, then u r not likely 2 get my service for weekend cricket match.
[I interrupted]
Pk: Swami, In cricket there is no service and only bowling.

Tedulkar and Calibure--
Discussion was between Sound and Kaushik abt Tendulkars poor performance in one of the Cricket World Cup matches
Sound: Tendulkar, with his Calibure should not have done this.
Pk: Sound, Tendulkar comes for Victor and not Calibure.

Gatt was talking with me and SriniV abt something when,
Gatt: I cannot find even one yaaaa!!!
Pk: yes, u cannot find even one becoz One is ODD.

VB Mistake... Jaspal this time was getting over Saurabha abt some functional issue in SSS of Matrix...
Jaspal: This is a basic mistake, this must not happen...
Pk: Jaspal! this is not Basic mistake this is Visual Basic mistake.

Hardly...
Gatt at the Peak of Mullyangiri was very worried abt ppl calling her Gatt and not Gayathri.
Gatt: Nowadays, Hardly anybody calls me Gayathri, everyone calls me 'Gatt'
[inquisitive]Pk: 'Softly', how many ppl call u Gayathri?

Community...
Vinod with all his Josh and Enthu was explaining Vish about how one becomes
a Community Star
Vinod: Should be able to provide many solutions of MS technolgy....and...U
should be able to drive the community.
Pk[had a genuine doubt]: Should we bring a Lorry/Bus?


Sanyasi
Binoy: How does one become become Sanyasi?[wil hold its humor if u prounce
it SanyaC]
???perplexed???
Binoy's Answer: 1st bcome SanyaA, then SanyaB, then SanyaC...Simple.


Father of Nation.
Ananth at our bay was Counting some Rupee Notes and Srini asked few notes be givn to him
Ananth: I am father of two...I have to be very careful abt money...
Pk: I now understand y Gandhi had to be so Simple...
Ananth: y?
Pk: bcoz, Gandhi is Father of Nation.


Independent
Christabell was chatting with our model Sajjid, ashak and myself in Cafe
Bell: ...at some point in my life I want to be Independent...
Pk: wait till August 15th


With Udhay,
Some Highclass pj i cracked and...
Udh:Plzz Bear with him 4 some more days, as anyway he is leaving this
place...
[curious]Pk[got a doubt]: y Bear has the previlege, Y ppl do not say
"lion with", "tiger with", or "cow with"